Meet Tracey: Coach
In this Q&A, we chat with Beehyve Coach, Tracey, about her personal journey, experiences, and practical advice for navigating life with ADHD. From diagnosis to coaching strategies, she shares insights, tips, and resources to support adults with ADHD.
Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your personal journey to becoming an ADHD coach?
It’s been a long journey. ADHD wasn’t on my radar until my son was about two. At playcentre, I started noticing differences compared with other children. After his diagnosis, I began learning more.
This was 18 years ago, when most information focused on children, not adults, and especially not women. Over time, I started piecing things together and realised, “That’s me too.”
Like many with ADHD, I hyperfocused and wanted to learn everything. I got involved with ADHD New Zealand, doing parent courses and training workshops.
More recently, after my own diagnosis and medication, I went back to university. I wanted to prove to myself I could complete it after dropping out twice before. It was hard, but I did it. Then I decided to try coaching.
What are the benefits of ADHD coaching?
There are different layers. Many people come to coaching wanting fixes and strategies so they can “get on with it.” But there’s much more to it. This is our brain. It’s what we’ve got, and we have to learn to work with it.
An ADHD coach is different. You don’t have to explain everything. We “get it” and often have lived experience ourselves. That can be incredibly helpful for verbal processing, learning about yourself, and developing self-compassion. Nobody gets it perfectly right, and it’s nice to know that.
Why is self-compassion so important for adults with ADHD?
Many of us are diagnosed later in life and are already programmed to think we’re “failing.” This narrative often starts in early childhood. We think we’re different. We think we can’t do things. We think we’re useless.
By adulthood, it’s deeply embedded. Diagnosis brings a lot of looking back and thinking, “If only I’d known.” There’s quite a bit to work through.
We still have that very ableist part of ourselves. We still try to do all the things and “fit in,” often thinking everyone else has it together. (They don’t!)
For someone newly diagnosed or seeking a diagnosis, what advice would you give about next steps?
It can feel overwhelming. Even finding specialists is hard. At Beehyve, we’ve created a database of specialists to help. Diagnosis can take months, and after you get the paper and maybe medication, there’s often a “what next?” moment.
Support hasn’t been well set up. It’s improving with more ADHD-specific coaching. Our health system isn’t great at accommodating different brains, with many therapies (CBT, DBT, EMDR) needing to be adjusted for us.
One positive is technology. It lets you access coaches online. Connection with our community is really important. Facebook groups or Reddit groups are a great place to start. I help run the Facebook group in New Zealand.
It’s nice to have somewhere to ask people in real time. The admin of trying to find support can be draining. Local groups can share real-time information about specialists, wait times, or neuro-affirming GPs.
You often talk about “working with your brain, not against it.” What does that look like in practice?
It’s tricky. The things that help, like self-awareness and noticing patterns, are also hard for ADHD brains. It takes effort to do these things. You also need to be in the right space to do it, because after diagnosis, there can be a few stages of grief.
Learning as much as you can about ADHD and hearing others’ experiences can help. It validates, “It’s not just me.” When you reach that stage, it’s a really good time to seek support.
When you’re ready, coaching can give you momentum and structure. Counselling can help you explore what’s keeping you stuck. If you have co-occurring conditions—depression, anxiety, OCD, substance use, eating disorders—you may want to explore clinical support with a psychologist alongside coaching.
Do you have favourite go-to resources (books, podcasts, people) for ADHD?
It depends on what works for you—podcasts, books, YouTube clips. Try a few. It’s about finding the style and format you enjoy. It can be overwhelming because there are so many podcasts and books out there. Focus on finding the one that suits you.
Recognised experts:
Dr Russell Barkley – research-based (a bit dry but evidence-heavy).
Dr Edward Hallowell – positive and uplifting.
Jessica McCabe (How to ADHD on YouTube) – loads of short, digestible clips.
Chanel Moira’s books – This is ADHD and I Am Autistic — lighter and more accessible.
How do you help clients with RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), masking, and burnout?
Fairly slowly. ADHD brains want quick fixes, but that leads to the “band-aid” effect. Trying to slow down is important and focus on one thing at a time.
Often these issues are interconnected. RSD feeds masking and masking feeds burnout. Working on one area can ease the others.
Dr Megan Neff has a great book on burnout aimed at autistic people, but it’s helpful for ADHD too.
Ultimately, it’s about self-awareness. Notice your signs of burnout. Plan what you’ll do when you see them. Most of us can’t just quit work or give up the things that are taxing, so we need realistic plans to help.
Executive function and emotional regulation are major challenges for people with ADHD. Are there any practical tools to help?
Start by noticing patterns. Which areas do you struggle with most? It’s about stopping and thinking about what’s going on. In a way, it’s a form of mindfulness.
Check in with yourself. You could set alarms to remind you to do this. If something upsets you, pause and ask: What was the trigger? Does this happen often?
Then try strategies like reframing your thoughts, setting up external supports. Learn about emotions. Use breathing techniques or movement breaks.
Different things work for different people. Movement may soothe one person but frustrate another. It’s about experimenting and finding what works for you.
What would you say to someone who feels overwhelmed or isn’t sure if coaching is the right fit for them?
You can book a discovery call to see if the coach is right for you. Also, consider your readiness. If your anxiety is high, your sleep is poor, or your medication isn’t sorted, address those first.
Coaching works best when you’re ready to make changes, as you’ll be asked to try things between sessions.
Sometimes counselling is better to start with, especially if big emotional issues are present. Coaching can then support your day-to-day structure while you work through deeper challenges.
Reaching out for help isn’t a sign of weakness. Many of us try to do everything ourselves. If we can’t, it’s often seen as failing.
Being vulnerable is brave. Taking the first step—asking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”—is powerful.
Community and support are so important. But I think that’s something we’ve lost in today’s society. Modern life often isolates us.
Note: Beehyve offers a 30-minute discovery call to work out if there’s a good fit with a counsellor or coach, with no pressure to continue.
About Tracey:
Navigating life as a neurodivergent adult can feel overwhelming, especially when traditional approaches don’t fit. Tracey provides a safe, supportive space for those with ADHD, autism, and neurodivergent traits to better understand themselves, find effective strategies, and stop feeling like they have to change to fit in.
With over 10 years of experience, she works with people at all stages—whether newly diagnosed or looking for fresh ways to manage challenges and leverage strengths. She understands the impact of late diagnosis, RSD, masking, burnout, and the constant push to “just try harder.” She helps clients work with their brains, not against them, using practical tools for executive function, emotional regulation, and self-acceptance.
Tracey also supports parents of ADHD children in navigating parenting challenges while managing their own neurodivergence. She provides guidance on understanding their child’s needs, improving communication, and creating a supportive family dynamic.
With both lived experience and professional training, Tracey understands the realities of ADHD and autism believing understanding is the key to acceptance and growth. Her coaching helps clients develop self-compassion, build a toolkit of strategies, and create a life that works for them.